Let’s define disrespectful …
Disrespectful: rude, impolite, insolent, ill-mannered, bad-mannered, cheeky, naughty, defiant …
Does this describe your teenage son?
Well, give this a thought … John Breeding, child psychologist and author of The Wildest Colts make the Best Horses, says, “Complete and unqualified respect is and must be the foundation stone of any mutually satisfying relationship, and must be the basis from which we enter into relationships with our children. Without it, we all inevitably end up in humiliation and disgrace.”
Maybe your teenage son “needs to show respect to get respect” … What do you think? Do you agree? This common phrase many parents use offers a great position for clarification about respect and parenting … The way to gain respect is to give it…The way to teach respect is to give it.
Teenagers see, hear, and will copy the things parents do because one of the ways they learn is by observing reactions and habits. They will either mimic everything their parent does or realize it’s not right or they want to be different.
A parent is an example, a model, an illustration a teenager looks to when learning about life. Parents impact their teenager’s lives everyday by simply talking with their spouse or friends, answering the phone, expressing emotions, eating, drinking and even how a parent steers the steering wheel.
Don’t believe me?? …
According to research by Mark Nielsen, Ph.D, Senior Lecture at the University Of Queensland School Of Psychology, says, “Children copy adults to a fault. The findings suggest that overimitation—in which a child copies everything an adult does, even irrelevant or silly actions—is a universal human trait that may contribute to our complex culture.”
Parents will see a difference in their teenage son’s behavior if he is taught the true meaning of respect, and experiences it by being consistently treated with respect.
“But he talks back to me and throws tantrums!”
My next question would be, “How do you react?” Some parents want to control the situation, take something away, or act disrespectful towards their teenage son.
This can also explain why teenagers “rebel”. They’re usually pushing back at something they don’t want or think is unfair. It is important for a teenager to resist a parent’s disrespectful and controlling effort. If a parent is trying to completely control a situation, there will most likely be more revolt and “bad” behavior. It is better to co-create and learn to set boundaries! (More on this later).
Remember, your teenage son is learning to live, manage his emotions and become independent. For him to thrive, it is best to illustrate a mature lifestyle and relationship with him. The experiences your teenage son has with you will affect how he behaves.